Recently I’ve noticed that a lot of young people are expressing how they feel about their singleness. Most of the cases I’ve seen consists of feelings of sadness, anger, confusion, loneliness, depression, etc. I’ve heard it expressed in conversation but most often than not, you will find it expressed a lot through social media. People will post things like, “I don’t know why I’m still single,” “Where’s my Boaz?,” and even “Looking for the one.” And if not explicitly stated, all of these thoughts and those with similar meaning all point to the same thing – a desire for romantic fellowship.
Now, I will not point the finger like I have never felt this way before. I think it is natural to desire companionship. But I think before we can have companionship there needs to be a reshaping of our understanding of the single season. Now, in spite of my title for this post, I want to state clearly: SINGLENESS IS NOT A CURSE! I’ll say it again… SINGLENESS IS NOT A CURSE!! God does not desire for us to be depressed in our singleness. In fact, if the reality of our singleness causes us to experience such negative feelings, I think there’s a deeper issue.
Could it be that we covet relationships? If we are honest with ourselves, it’s not really the person that we want so much…sometimes it is, however, you never know what God is protecting you from. Nevertheless, if we think about it, being in a relationship with a person will bring some trials that we realistically probably don’t want and are not ready to handle. What we cherish is the idea of the person. The idea of having someone validate us when we feel down. The idea of having someone to text late at night. The idea of holding the title that comes with the relationship. But the question is, are we ready for the hard work that comes with a relationship?
I would like to offer another way of looking at our singleness. Instead of seeing it as a curse, let’s look at it as a blessing. Because in your singleness you have a freedom that those in a relationship no longer have. It is the time where God develops you to be the person He created you to be…not for the other person, but for Himself. Let us turn our focus from the fact that we are single and toward our Sovereign God Who makes no mistakes. Because God knows what He is doing. And in addition to this, there is so much that God may want to do through you in your singleness. In Genesis 2, God said that it is not good for man to be alone and that He would make someone suitable for Adam. However, He did not make Eve until after Adam named all the animals. Which is to suggest, that God has work for us to do before we enter into a relationship.
Bit of advice for us all: enjoy you while you’re single! Treat you how you want to be treated. Love on you! And most of all, allow God to continue His work IN you. Let’s find contentment AND enjoyment in our singleness because SINGLENESS IS NOT A CURSE!