I HATE How Much I Like You!

A few years back the famous singer Rihanna partnered with Ne-Yo and released a song called, “Hate that I love you.” You might remember the song. The duo sang the words,

And I hate how much I love you boy (girl)
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy (girl)
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so

Sound familiar?

Many of us could relate to this song because it expressed how we all felt at some point or another. Maybe it wasn’t as deep as love but even in liking someone, many of us know what it feels like to wish we didn’t. At least I know I did.

There had been several instances in my life where I developed feelings for a guy and I regretted those feelings. And it wasn’t that he was a bad person. In fact, most of the guys I’ve found attraction to were pretty good guys. So then what was the problem? Was I the problem? Was there something wrong with my affections? Well, in recent times, I found the root of my disdain for the “symptoms” of having a crush.

I had been subliminally taught that my affections were a bad thing!

When I was in middle school, I had a crush on a boy named Larry (his name has been changed to protect his identity). And Larry was a part of a popular group of guys at school who we will call the “Smack Boys.” Another Smack Boy, who we shall call Manny, made fun of me for liking Larry every chance he got!

He would see me in the hallway and point at me saying, “ha! ha! ha! You like Larry!” And then he would laugh hysterically. I felt shame for my crush. I felt as though someone like me, unpopular and far from cool, wasn’t supposed to like someone as cool as Larry. And years later, the shame I was taught back then stuck with me. I hated developing feelings. I would always analogize “catching feelings” to catching a cold or even the flu because it hurt to think that nothing would ever materialize from my crush.

But in recent times, I’ve decided that because God made me with the ability to feel attraction that my affections weren’t a bad thing.

On the contrary, my affections are a good thing! 

Ephesians 2:10 encourages us to know that “we are His [God’s] workmanship…” The word workmanship means something that is created. In other words, God created you and a part of that creation includes the ability to feel affection and attraction.

So instead of hating the attraction you feel for someone, celebrate the fact that God doesn’t make mistakes. And by all means, exercise wisdom in how you express your affections and with who you choose to pursue a relationship with.

But never hate the way you were created to feel!

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