Anyone who knows me well knows about my “Big Three.” And for all of my basketball fans, no I am not talking about LeBron, Kyrie, and Kevin! On the contrary, I have a list of three things that I had once vowed to never associate with a man before I marry him. The logic behind this is that if it doesn’t work out between us, then I won’t have to suffer within the realm of these three things due to my thoughts about him. Sounds pretty safe right?
To start, number one is my relationship with God. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do intend to build a relationship with Christ as our foundation. But when I say this, I mean that I do not want to give a man, who’s not my husband, spiritual authority in my life. Things such as, allowing him to choose my place of worship or whether I worship at all. Some things are nonnegotiable. And I choose not to allow any man to come in between myself and my Savior!
Number two is my creativity! I am a spoken word artist and I have always been cautious about writing poems about men. I’m already what they call a “hopeless romantic,” (although I like to think that I have hope!), so I don’t want to inflict any unnecessary pain on myself if it doesn’t work out the way I’d like. I love my poems…I’d like it to stay that way.
Finally, number three is Luther Vandross! I know, I know…but hey, I really love Luther and I’ll be darned if I let a man make me resent a Luther song!
But as much as I prided myself on holding fast to my big three, this summer, I broke one of them! And no, it’s not number three…
During the summer of 2016, I wrote a poem about the gentleman who I had found myself crushing on. I titled it, “Open Letter to my Crush.” And I must say, it was the hardest poem I’ve ever written! It was vulnerable, it was honest, and truthfully…
I feel NAKED!
Nevertheless, I think I’ve gotten the most wonderful responses about that poem! Did it work out between myself and the guy? Well, unfortunately I got friend zoned! But no worries…we’re actually friends and I don’t resent the poem like I thought I would!
All this to say, I have learned that although it is sometimes awkward and difficult to do something outside of your comfort zone, it might be the most rewarding!
And for those inquiring minds…here’s the poem!!