“How could I have been so stupid?”
“Why does this keep happening to me?”
“Ugh…I don’t want to love ever again!”
Do any of these statements sound familiar to you? They do to me. You keep trying your hand at love and for some reason it ALWAYS fails. And when I say always, I mean ALWAYS!
Maybe you’ve been there before where you put your heart out there again. “Just one more try.” You think to yourself that maybe, “this time will be different.” You meet a man, or maybe you rekindle an old flame. He seems genuine. His life bears the fruit of a true man of God and he proceeds to pursue you. To tell you all the right things. You guys stay on the phone all night.
Good morning beautiful.
He even sends good morning text messages!
This man is amazing! You guys talk about God and about life goals. And somewhere deep inside you think, “this is too good to be true.” So there’s a small part of you waiting for the other shoe to drop. That’s your mind speaking. But your heart is telling you not to be skeptical…to just let it happen. So you listen.
And then it happens. The text messages and phone calls slow down. The good morning texts stop. And he becomes distant. You aren’t hanging out like you used to. And your mind begins to come up with different scenarios of what might have gone wrong. Was it something you said or did? Were you coming on too strong? Maybe you cared too much? Maybe you were too honest? But you try to be tough and tell yourself that maybe you’re over reacting.
And then you guys finally talk again. He either tells you that there’s another girl or that he realizes that he’d rather be friends and just didn’t know how to tell you.
Here we go again!
You prepare yourself for the same old rejection song.
It’s not you, it’s me.
You’re too good for me.
You’re amazing but I’m just not ready.
And while you know that all may be true, you’re just over it…AGAIN.
If that’s you, don’t fret. I know you feel stupid. I know you feel played. You’ve been here so many times before you start to think that maybe love isn’t for you. You prepare to shut your heart down. Now EVERY man has to pay because you just can’t stand the idea of putting your heart out there again. You’ve begun to settle with the idea of being alone forever.
I just want to encourage you. First, I want you to know that you’re not alone. We’ve all been there before. You’re not the first and you surely won’t be the last. This is just a part of life. But don’t give up on love because of several failed attempts.
Second, I want you to know that everything you seek in a man, YOU WILL FIND IT IN JESUS!
If you’re a believer then you’ve probably heard that before and you’re over those Christian cliches. Especially after watching all of your Christian friends find love. But seriously…as broken record as it is…Jesus really is everything you need! And according to Psalm 147:3, “he heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (ESV).
So if you’ve been disappointed in the love department recently, don’t give up. Know that God understands and allow Him to heal your heart as you spend time with Him in your Bible. It may take some time to heal and that’s okay. Be patient with your heart and don’t lose hope.
And while you wait for the right one to come along, work on yourself. Work on becoming, not the right one, but work on becoming better. Don’t seek self improvement for the sake of love. Seek self improvement for the sake of becoming better.
You will be okay sis!!