Have you ever just felt uncomfortable? Like…you’re out of place? Have you ever felt like you’re incredibly unhappy where you are but you feel bound by responsibilities? I know I have. And it was at that moment when I realized that I had to GET OUT!
Back when I was a junior in college, I did a google search of seminaries in North Carolina. I never knew why I wanted to go to NC, but it had been in my heart since I was a senior in high school. And I figured that I could fulfill that dream and get my Master’s degree at the same time. One of the schools that google presented to me was Wake Forest Divinity School. And after some research on the school, I decided that it had everything I wanted in a school and thus, it became my “dream school.”
I had set my heart on going to Wake Forest and could not wait to apply the following year. But then something happened. I was presented with an opportunity to stay in New York and study there after graduation. Professors thought it was a great opportunity and that it would be good for me. So instead of chasing my dream to North Carolina, I stayed in New York. After all…with all these doors opening up in NY, this must be God…right?
On May 7, 2016 I graduated from college. And that’s when all hell broke loose. I had decided to stay in New York for the summer. And to make the long story short, that summer I had endured financial hardships due to my hours being cut at work; my portion of rent increased; I had strife with my room mate; I was primarily alone because most of my friends went back to their respective states; I had no family because my family lived in Ohio; and I ended up having to leave my apartment and was by textbook definition homeless.
That was by far the worst summer of my entire life! Thankfully, God sent people along the way to help in whatever ways they could. Like bringing me food, letting me stay in their apartment, and helping me financially. And then the school approved my request to move into graduate housing since I was starting school that fall. So that was cool.
But then the school year started and my life continued to tank. Feelings of depression overwhelmed me. I had lost all of my motivation to study. Which is weird because I love school and my professors were amazing! But something just wasn’t right. I felt so out of place. Like I didn’t belong there. It was almost as if I had overstayed my welcome.
Doors had opened for me to go to school that fall. I finally had housing. My hours picked up at work. I had an amazing room mate…what was the problem now!?
Well…the problem, I discovered, was that I had truly overstayed my time. God had sent me to New York for only a season and when it was time to move, I stayed.
The program that I had started was entirely academic even though my passion was for ministry. And I can remember coming home from work, stressed out, spaced out, and drained. I sat down and started to cry my eyes out. I couldn’t understand what God was doing. Here I was, serving Him, getting my education, and just trying to reflect Jesus and my life was going down hill.
But that night, I said to God…”I’d rather be doing ministry.” It was like a heavy load lifted from my shoulders because I realized that that was why I felt so out of place – because I was out of place! It had been time for me to move away from NY but instead of chasing my God given dream, I stayed.
I am convinced now that when God wants you to move, He makes you uncomfortable!
And that discomfort will probably hurt. And a lot of times you’ll want to stay in the familiar because of the responsibilities you have there. I had responsibilities too! I had a job, I had bills, I was in school, and I was trying to get things done within the frame of a particular timeline. But that’s not how God works!
Mark Batterson says, “If God has released you, then continuing to do what you’ve been doing isn’t faithfulness. It’s disobedience. You need to let it go. And don’t look back” (Chase the Lion, 75).
Do you feel uncomfortable? Like…you’re out of place? Do you feel like you’re incredibly unhappy where you are but you feel bound by responsibilities? I pose this thought to you: Maybe God has allowed all hell to break loose in your life because He’s trying to get your attention. Maybe it’s time to let go…and GO!
It will be hard to let it go. It will be scary to embrace the unknown. But the reality is, if God has released you, He will provide for you where He sends you to. I am a witness! And if He did it for me, He can absolutely do it for you!
So let go of your fears and GET OUT!