Self-Love is a PROCESS

Today, I was reading my friend’s post entitled, “Twenty Six Tips to My 21 Year Old Self.” And, while reading it, the tips that she offered to her younger self really caused me to reflect on my own journey. So, this is pretty much your invitation to spy on my mind and take a peek into my diary…

On May 12, 2018, I turned 25! What a milestone! The celebration was great and I really enjoyed myself. But, as I reflect on these first five years of my twenties, I’m realizing that there are some things that I could have done differently. And, moment of vulnerability, one of those things is to focus on ME and not so much on finding someone to love me.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have grown A LOT over these few years! When I entered my twenties, I had low self-esteem and honestly did not love the woman staring back in the mirror. However, now, I love me some me! And I mean that! I did serious work to get to a place of self-love. I had to speak life to myself. I had to learn to be comfortable with being in solitude (now my favorite thing to do). I had to choose to affirm my own beauty with or without the complement of a man. And with all of this, I can truly say that I love myself.

But, what I didn’t realize is that self-love is an ongoing process of intentionality. Since the world is ever-changing, this means that I, too, am ever-changing. And as I grow, I must continue to pursue the woman that I am becoming. I learned to love my 21 year old self. Yet, I do an injustice to myself because I am no longer the woman that I was those 4 years ago. I am no longer in undergrad in New York. I no longer have long hair (I have happily joined the twa club). I have lost 15 pounds…and these are just a few small differences.

So many life experiences have contributed to the woman that I am today. And I have also come into relationship with many important people who influence who I am today. Thus, these changes demand that I be intentional about loving me. Everyday, I must be intentional.

I have failed at loving me because, having never been in a relationship, I have put more emphasis on finding the right partner that I have neglected to love myself. And, I am just realizing, thanks to my good friend Faria, that I must spend these last 5 years of my twenties learning how to be intentional about loving myself. I believe that true romantic love will come. But, romantic love should never replace self-love.

So, as I seek new ways to get to know myself, flourish, and affirm my beauty and worth, I encourage anyone who is reading this to join me on this journey. We will make mistakes. But, we MUST learn to forgive ourselves. We will not always feel sexy. But, we MUST learn to affirm ourselves.  I am worth it. I am worthy of my own love. And friend, you are worthy of your own love as well!

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